The aftermath

I went to town yesterday, anxious to test my new-found self-discipline. I had a bunch of cash in my purse from odds and ends cheques that had come my way over the past few months and that I had cashed. I had to go to a bunch of places in town and once again, managed to come home with only what was on my list. Could this be? Had I conquered the spending beast within?

Then last night, as I was tossing and turning at about 2:00 in the morning (I am sure this is the devils favorite time - when the night seems empty and everyone else is asleep) I got up and sat down at my computer. Checked some sites I had bookmarked - and - oh no - found a site I had visited from time to time, tempted to purchase some of the instructional writing DVD's they had listed. I had resisted purchasing these for almost a year - until last night. Despondent. Alone. Wondering about my writing career.

I needed help, right? Purchasing the DVD's was cheaper than a conference, right? I could mark this as a tax deduction, right? I had been pretty self disciplined and I deserved to do some spending, right?

The right answer most of the above should have been - wrong. But it was 2:00. I was alone. So I bought them. Paid for them with the phantom money afforded to me by my credit card.

Regrets? A few. But this means that now I can look forward to getting a parcel in the mail. Taking it home. Ripping the box open. Holding my purchases in my hands. Imagining my writing career taking new and dramatic turns as a result of what I was about to learn. That's one thing that buying over the internet has over buying at a store. The prolonged anticipation of the purchase. Of course, this now means I have blown my spending budget for the month - and it's only the 3rd! Guess I'm going to have another no-buy month. Thankfully February has less days.